Really feeling the stress of exam season kicking in. It wouldn't be so bad if I could be studying for them right now however, I have these darn tasks that need finishing before semesters end. At the same time I'm having a bout of the ugly; self conscious. I never thought I had all these weaknesses, I'm finding so many of them as of late. I was meant to be stronger than this. The past was meant to have hardened me. Though it has hardened me, it has also given me all these flaws. That episode of Glee, I wonder if you saw it? When they sang "Born This Way" and had the white t-shirts with their vice printed on it. I think that mine would read "Headstrong". I cannot stand it when people tell me what to do. I rebel and want to do this opposite of whatever I'm told. I can contain myself with authority ie work which is a relief.

Sometimes I think about all the foods I eat in a day and wish that I hadn't had any of it.
Today:

2 x TOAST
3 X MANDARIN
2 X MUESLI BAR
1 X PASTA

If I hadn't had the toast perhaps...or my dinner, then I might be thinner than I am. I'm not anorexic or bulimic! I don't have the willpower to fast. But I do wish I was thinner, every time I look in the mirror and see my thighs. Woah this wasn't meant to be such a grim post. Sorry?

Kasia xx